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Top > General Lesbian Help Information > Article
What to Do if You’re Outed as a Lesbian
By Kaylee Larson, LesbianLoveNow.com
It’s your choice how and when you will let the world know that you’re a lesbian. In most cases, you’re going to put a lot of thought into how you would like to share with everyone in your life this important aspect of who you are. However, there may be situations in which you are outed against your will. So when you no longer have control over how you would like to let people know, be prepared to handle the situation with dignity.
Keep in mind the following tips when faced with a situation in which you have been outed:
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Try to stay calm. Even if someone has revealed that you’re a lesbian, you don’t have to admit to it if you would rather not at that time. Take a breath before you react – it can help you think more clearly and logically.
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Weigh the consequences of coming out. Although workplaces are required not to discriminate based on sexuality, in some situations, the disclosure of such information could result in the loss of your job.
Similarly, revealing something so personal, especially at the wrong time, to family members who are known to be intolerant toward the gay and lesbian lifestyle could result in irreversible damage to your relationships with them. For example, if you're in the process of preparing to leave for college, your parents may decide to cut off financial support upon learning that you’re a lesbian.
Also, if you're still in school, think twice about revealing such information to untrustworthy peers, as it could result in bullying.
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Talk to your friends about supporting you in such a situation. You should never have to deal with such a stressful situation on your own. If you have trusted confidantes to whom you have already revealed your secret, friends can also provide new perspectives and help you understand your options in an important situation. Remember that if you're not sure where to turn, there are plenty of helpful resources available to lesbians.
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Decide which action you will take or if you will take any action at all. If you believe your coming out at that moment could result in severe consequences, as illustrated above, you have the right to simply deny the claim that you are a lesbian when confronted.
If this situation does arise, you may find that it provides a perfect opportunity for you to come out. You may have been hesitating and grappling with the decision to tell or not to tell, and this could push you to take action. Many consider such an opportunity as an event that was “meant to be” when they had been thinking about coming out.
Ideally, it is best to decide upon a clear course of action before such a situation arises. By choosing your response in advance, you will be better prepared to handle your circumstances with grace, should it occur, by knowing exactly what to say and how to say it.
If you're a teen lesbian who is planning on coming out soon, read on for some helpful tips.
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